Dare to Lead

try to look into as many pairs of eyes as I can. So, yes. I’m always nervous. (Location 64)

The courage to be vulnerable is not about winning or losing, it’s about the courage to show up when you can’t predict or control the outcome. (Location 168)

If you choose courage, you will absolutely know failure, disappointment, setback, even heartbreak. That’s why we call it courage. That’s why it’s so rare. (Location 175)

I define a leader as anyone who takes responsibility for finding the potential in people and processes, and who has the courage to develop that potential. (Location 206)

“What stands in the way becomes the way.”1 (Location 251)

We avoid tough conversations, (Location 253)

“dirty yes” (when I say yes to your face and then no behind your back). (Location 258)

down or ridiculed for trying something and failing, or even for putting forward a radical new idea, the best you can expect is status quo and groupthink. We get stuck and defined by setbacks, disappointments, and failures, so instead of spending resources on cleanup to ensure that consumers, stakeholders, or internal processes are made whole, we are spending too much time and energy reassuring team members who are questioning their contribution and value. Too much shame and blame, not enough accountability and learning. (Location 262)

People are opting out of vital conversations about diversity and inclusivity because they fear looking wrong, saying something wrong, or being wrong. Choosing our own comfort over hard conversations is the epitome of privilege, and it corrodes trust and moves us away from meaningful and lasting change. When something goes wrong, individuals and teams are rushing into ineffective or unsustainable solutions rather than staying with problem identification and solving. When we fix the wrong thing for the wrong reason, the same problems continue to surface. It’s costly and demoralizing. (Location 266)

Organizational values are gauzy and assessed in terms of aspirations rather than actual behaviors that can be taught, measured, and evaluated. Perfectionism and fear are keeping people from learning and growing. (Location 270)

1. You can’t get to courage without rumbling with vulnerability. Embrace the suck. (Location 280)

A rumble is a discussion, conversation, or meeting defined by a commitment to lean into vulnerability, to stay curious and generous, to stick with the messy middle of problem identification and solving, to take a break and circle back when necessary, to be fearless in owning our parts, and, as psychologist Harriet Lerner teaches, to listen with the same passion with which we want to be heard.2 (Location 286)

Courage is a collection of four skill sets that can be taught, observed, and measured. The four skill sets are: (Location 291)

Rumbling with Vulnerability Living into Our Values Braving Trust Learning to Rise (Location 293)

Self-awareness and self-love matter. Who we are is how we lead. (Location 302)